H29 – Future

H29 – Future
This scene was originally written into the Hanako script, but we could never really find a good place to put it. Since it looks like I won’t have an Omake slot in the final game, I’m going to go public with this one.


“*Fzzzt*”

“The lights of the town went out with the sound of dying electricity; a blackout caused by excessive snowfall.”

“In a small, two-bedroom house near the station, the quiet scratching of pencil on paper stopped.”

“The shadowed figure responsible for the noise sighs, places the pencil on the paper, and then stands up.”

“Carefully feeling her way around the house, she retrieves the items that she is looking for, and breaths a sign of relief.”

“*Click* *Click*”

“The tiny sparks from the lighter light up the tiny kitchen like a strobe.”

“Finally, the lighter manages to take hold, and a meagre flame flickers at its mouth.”

“The shadowed figure carefully lights two candles, then extinguishes the lighter’s flame.”

“In the weak yellow light of the candles, the figure resolves into a young woman in casual clothes.”

“Walking carefully, as to not spill too much wax, she returns to her study.”

“The plans spread out on the table in the centre of the room are once again visible; nothing more than a collection of lines on an otherwise blank sheet.”

“The walls of the study are decorated with hand-rendered drawings of various buildings, each accompanied by a photo.”

“Against the far wall stand two deep chests, full of hand-drawn plans.”

“The woman carefully places the candles on either side of the desk, and picks up her pencil once more.”

“In a short time, she is once again working at full pace, the scratching of the pencil nearly matching the flickering light from the candles.”

“And so the woman continues, drawing away into the night.”

“Before long, the lines on the paper are connecting, forming the outline of a house.”

“A new house.”

“She buries her head deeper into the plans, making the most of the weak candle light.”

“She is so engrossed in her work that she doesn’t hear the soft sobbing and padding of feet until their owner wraps its arms around her legs.”

ha “Mommy…”

“The woman looks down, startled.”

“Her daughter, in her flannel pyjamas and carrying her favourite plush rabbit, is wrapped firmly around her leg, crying.”

ha “It’s all dark, mommy…”

“The woman puts down her pencil, and picks up her daughter, placing her on her lap.”

“Mother” “Shhh now Hana-chan.”

“Mother” “What’s the matter?”

ha “It’s dark, and I can’t sleep. Where are the lights, mommy?”

“The woman gently strokes her daughter’s hair before gently kissing the top of her head.”

“Mother” “Come on now, I’ll fix that for you.”

“The woman picks up one of the candles, now covered in hardened rivulets of wax, and helps her daughter stand up.”

“The daughter stumbles slightly, and bumps the desk, but neither of them notices beyond that.”

“Hand in hand, they walk into the next room, where a man lays sleeping on the edge of a double futon.”

“Next to him lay another two pillows; the small family always sleeps together.”

“The woman guides her daughter into the futon next to the sleeping man, and places the candle at the head of the futon.”

“Mother” “There you are, see? Now there’s light here.”

“The man stirs into consciousness.”

“Father” “Eh? What’s going on here?”

“Mother” “There was just a little blackout, and the night light went out.”

“Mother” “I brought a candle for Hana-chan to get to sleep by.”

“The man smiles slightly, and wraps an arm around his daughter.”

“Father” “Don’t you have a great mother, Hanako?”

“Father” “Say “Thank you.””

ha “T…thank you mommy.”

“The daughter hugs her plush rabbit tightly as her mother smiles and leaves the bedroom.”

“As she slides the door to the bedroom closed, she hears a strange sound…”

“…smells a strange smell…”

“…and realises that the corridor is much brighter than it ought to be.”

“She gasps, and rushes to the next room.”

“She tries to enter the blazing room, but the intense heat drives her back.”

“Her desk has collapsed into a pile of burning firewood, the floor around it blackened by the smoke.”

“The drawings on the wall curl away and disintegrate as they burn.”

“Smoke billows from the cracks in the drawing chests in puffs as the smouldering fire inside them draws air through the same cracks to survive.”

“Flames leap across the ceiling in mesmerising patterns.”

“The woman, too shocked to scream, falls over backwards, and can do nothing but sit and stare as her livelihood is consumed by the flames.”

“A picture frame, ablaze and losing its integrity, smashes to the floor.”

“The noise rouses the sleeping man, who enters the corridor.”

“Father” “What’s going on… oh my god…”

“As the pair stare into the inferno, the wall separating the study and the bedroom buckles and falls.”

$doublespeak (“Father”, “Mother”, “Hanako!”, “Hanako!”)

“The woman tries to get to her feet but slips.”

“The man, already standing, makes for the bedroom.”

“He opens the door, providing a second supply of air for the flames.”

“In an instant, they increase their brightness and intensity, and shimmering waves of heat separate the man and his daughter.”

“Their eyes meet, and the man knows what he must do.”

“Using his arms as a shield from the flames, he charges towards his daughter, scooping her up into his chest.”

“She screams an airless scream, but it is lost to the ever-increasing roar of the fire.”

“Even as he barrels through the short hallway to the house’s front door, he feels the flames lick against his body, instantly blistering skin and vaporising hair.”

“As he fumbles with the lock, he feels the heat of the fire upon his back, and hears the structure of the house slowly staring to crumble.”

“Opening the door seems to take an eternity, and as soon as he has it open a fraction, the back draft of air slams the slab of wood into him and his daughter, sending them flying.”

“Enraged by the fresh air outside, the fire screams and reaches out towards its flesh-based enemy.”

“Clawing his protesting body along the floor, breathing in lungfuls of smoke, the man makes his way towards his daughter.”

“She is curled tightly around her plush rabbit, her flannel pyjamas blackened and covered in glowing trails of smouldering fire.”

“Her skin is lost amongst the ashes of her clothes; as charred as the walls around her.”

“The man summons the last of his strength, and shoves the small girl out through the door and onto the pristine white snow outside.”

“He hears the hiss of the melting snow turning into steam at the door, but he can see that his daughter is now safe from the flames.”

“She stirs, and turns towards him, her tiny hand pushing through the snow towards him.”

“He smiles slightly as the walls finally buckle, sending the roof crashing down around him.”

21 thoughts on “H29 – Future

  1. V2Blast says:

    Well, that was intense. (Though it differs from the final version of Hanako’s history, since it’s her mother that protects her.)

    • cplcrud says:

      Things change.

      This was from the original (as in very first draft) Hanako path, which I think was done sometime in late 2008. The entire story was re-written from that point, but I like to think that this part stayed the same (give or take some gender-bending in the parents).

  2. Epicuro says:

    Wow. I teared up. One of the better VN’s I have played. You guys did an impressing job! Hanako <3

  3. Zoobidy Bop says:

    I actually prefer this story. The one in the VN now is a huge cliché.

  4. Aster says:

    How much time took place between this and the actual draft that’s in the VN? I feel like there’s a large jump in quality from what’s written here and what’s in the final VN.

    Not that this is necessarily bad, of course. It’s just I feel like…your writing developed? If there was a gap in time, of course.

  5. Alcarran says:

    Ouch. My heart. Ow.

  6. TriangularCube says:

    Goddammit, you trying to kill me with your words? That was heartbreaking!

    Congratulations on the final product of your project, everyone (myself included) thoroughly enjoyed it.

  7. MrDogsniper says:

    wow what incredible writing, just before I read this I was on the fan-fics and I read “Run” god was it the most interesting story I ever read, I just can’t seem to finish it with my own imagination.

    • cplcrud says:

      Damn that is going back a bit.

      I think I had a bunch of ideas for that at the time, but not the time… Such is life.

      Before KS I used to have a lot more of those kinds of ideas, and it’s either towards that (or towards the more comedic world) that I think I will head.

      It offers a lot more entertainment than simpel High School Romances…

  8. MrDogsniper says:

    Just saying I enjoyed it very much you are a very talented writer. I wish I had the talent you have, but I’m just good at arguing, I got it Lawyer XD.

  9. John Hanerurdger says:

    This is a nice story. But it seemed to me like the fire spread unrealistically quickly.

    • cplcrud says:

      You don’t give 4LS enough credit… As an “official” scene, this went under the rigorous fact checking that we subjected everything else to…

  10. William says:

    More man tears for your supper.

  11. Think About it :) says:

    Would it be okay if I were to use this for my own story (Reworded and story changed of course I won’t ever do anything with the story just a hobby I like to right I gather inspiration any way I can if I have to rename Hanako I would be fine with that as this would just be me introducing a character in his own twisted story) Pleaaaaase?

    • cplcrud says:

      I’m not sure what you mean… do you want to use this as a backstory for your own character, or do you simply want to change the name and call it your own?
      The first one I’m not so fussed about – that’s what inspiration is, however the second version is blatent plagiarism

  12. Thanks :D says:

    Thanks I mean it by the first one I just wasn’t to sure I would never steal anyones work especially if they can finally give me the inspiration I need

  13. Damn, at start I’ve guess I was reading something of the history of Hanako and Hisao post game (“future”), but when I got to understand what I was reading…
    Manly tears man… manly tears….

  14. Fat_Alberta says:

    Jesus Christ that was heartbreaking. I’ve been looking through some of the beta stuff recently, and reading this with the music box version of Painful History was an emotional wallop. Crazy seeing how different the final product ended up being from the earlier iterations (not that I’m complaining).

    I hadn’t touched KS in over two years only to suddenly pick it up again the other night and remember how much I love Hanako’s path. Damn good writing. You’ve left my heart heavy and my mind abuzz.

    • cplcrud says:

      Well I’m glad that it had the desired effect!

      TBH I had really hoped that this scene would have stayed in the game, but I guess calmer heads prevailed.

      Thanks

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