~Bad End~

This is a veeeeery old scrap that I wrote for the Pre-4LS Katawa Shoujo. I thought that I had posted it here but I guess not. This was one of the first things I wrote about Hanako and it was also one of the pieces that made me like Hanako a lot.
The first draft of Hanko’s path was originally moving towards a result like this, however it had no connection or congruence with anything that was in the rest of the high-drama that was KS, so the entire concept of Yandere Hanako was dropped and replaced with Wallflower Hanako.

 

Setting: Hisao is starting to drift off whilst studying; this late in the game, he’d probably be thinking about the girl that he is “with,” remembering that this is an end to a path.
For ellipsis, I’m expecting a pause in the game text, so you might just have to play along there. I would also hope that the sound effects could be replaced with in-game sounds, as would Hanako’s laughter.
Also, later in the scene, we travel to a “dance studio”. Now, this basically is any room that has a few mirrors; it could be a gym for physical therapy, or a dance studio in town… whatever.
Begin.

[SFX] *ring*
The sudden blaring of my phone shakes me from my reverie. Papers go flying as I furiously try to answer it before my neighbours are disturbed. As I key the “receive” button, I glance at the clock on the desk.
23:41.
[MC] “Hi, Hisao speaking!”
It seems I can’t help but answer the phone like a clown, no matter what the time is.
[SFX] “…”
[MC] “Hello? Is someone there?”
A low, sighing breath filters down the line, sending chills down my spine, freezing me to the spot.
[voice] “Hisao.”
The word is barely a whisper, but even down the phone it is crystal clear.
[MC] “Who the hell is this?”
Pulling away from the phone, I manage to catch a glimpse of the phone’s display.
Hanako.
Once again, the voice breathes down the line.
[voice] “Hisao… I need to speak to you…”
[MC] “Hanako? What’s gotten into you?”
I swear, if this is another one of her silly little games…
[voice] “…I just want to talk. Can you come here a minute?”
Something in her voice tells me that this isn’t a game. Something is gravely wrong, and, for whatever reason, she chose to call me. Not Lily, me.
[MC] “S-sure. Are you in your room?”
[voice] “… No. … I’m in the dance studio. … See you soon.”
The line goes dead.
What the hell was going on? Confusion fills my head as I pull on my jacket and shoes. Hundreds of possibilities fly through my mind as I set off in a slow jog towards the studio. Whatever it is, there is no doubt about it’s urgency; Hanako rarely called anyone. In the last three months I haven’t received so much as an SMS, let alone an email.

My breath erupts as white gusts of steam into the brisk autumn air as I round the corner of the studio. I’m surprised I even remembered where it was; it’s been months since I was here last. In the moonlight, the two-story building carries an air of foreboding. I can barely see the roof from here, but I can just make out the painted windows of the studio.
I lean against the door to catch my breath, however it swings inwards under my weight. It appears that the lock has been shattered, causing fresh waves of apprehension to wash over me; tightening my shoulders, knotting my lower back. Gulping back my fear, I push the door open enough to allow me to slip in, and head up the dark stairway. The dim light from outside diminishes with each step. By the time I reach the landing, I am enveloped in darkness. I fumble around for the door handle to the studio proper. Once again, the lock seems to have been broken. Just what in the hell was going on? If this is some surprise party, someone’s going to pay.
As the door swings open, pale blue light streams through; blinding after the pitch-black of the staircase.
I blink a couple of times; moonlight is streaking through an open window across the room, casting eerie blue shadows along the length of the room, almost deepening the darkness around the edges of the dance floor. I can’t make head nor tail of anything in the gloom. There could be a hundred people hidden in those shadows, or there could be no-one.
A breeze whips through the open window, it’s whistling the harbinger of a storm; maybe even snow. This thought distracts me for a moment, and I almost miss the near-silent footstep from my left.
[MC]” Who’s there?”
My shout echos around the empty room, eventually absorbed by the breeze.
A low, sighed giggle floats along the breeze; nearly silent; untraceable.
[MC] “Enough!”
Tension and fear dissolve into anger. I grope at the darkness, and find the light switch next to the door.
[Hanako] “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” There is no mistaking that voice, the velvety-smooth tones of Hanako’s calmest oration.
I am far too annoyed to care. Who the hell calls someone to the middle of town in this weather, and then tells them not to turn on the light? I have a pile of work to do, and if I get caught out in the snow I’m going to get one hell of a cold.
Besides, the sudden lack of urgency in Hanako’s voice tells me that this can wait until the morning.
[MC] “I can’t see a thing. Mind your eyes.”
I toggle the switch, but nothing happens. Furious, I switch it up and down a few times in the vain hope that it will remember its function and turn on the lights.
[Hanako] “Aw, Too bad. I did warn you though.”
Outside, the wind is picking up, and Hanako’s words are almost lost amongst it. Each new gust chills the room further.
[MC] “Fine. What’s so important that you called me out here in the middle of the night?”
[Hanako] “Oh, there’s no need to rush things. We’ve got plenty of time.”
Plenty of time? For what? Has Hanako finally lost the plot?
[MC] “Whatever. Mind if I close the window? It’s freezing in here.”
[Hanako] “Knock yourself out”
Another giggle; but this time I can almost hear… something else. It sounds like another voice in an adjacent room. My face screws itself up in thought.
Is there another room up here?
Maybe I’m imagining things. The darkness is playing tricks on my mind; I still can’t even work out where Hanako is.
I let out a sigh, and follow the dim blue road of moonlight towards the window.
[SFX] Crunch
What the hell was that?
I look down; it seems as if I’ve stepped in some glass.
Glass? First the locks, then the lights, now glass on the floor?
My shoulders tensed, muscle turning to sinew and knotting upon itself. Every fiber of my being was telling me to turn around and run through the door. My heart, still unsettled from the jog here, skipped a beat, sending the familiar pains through my chest.
[SFX] Hrmph
There it goes again; that muffled voice. Only this time, it’s louder. Squinting, I peer into the darkness again, trying to make out something, anything, that could give me a clue as to what was going on.
[Hanako] “What’s the matter… Can’t find the window?”
Hanako’s giggles were gaining confidence, and were starting to compete with the ever-increasing howl of the wind. Yet, her words are the catalyst that I’m looking for. I gather my reserves of courage, and strike out across the floor, each step a symphony of shattered glass. Hanako just keeps on giggling. As I reach the window, a fresh gust of freezing wind blasts through it, spraying my face with a few droplets of sleet. Shying away from the onslaught, I see that the window frame contains the jaggard edges of a broken pane of glass.
[SFX] HMRPH!
The unmistakable sound of someone screaming against a gag defeats the crescendo of the wind. Terror grips me, and I turn to face the room. With the light now to my back, I can make out shapes; a squirming, crumpled heap in the corner opposite the door, the fractured reflections of the room from the mirrored wall…
…the figure charging at me.

Moonlight flashes off glass, and my heart chokes. As I fall to my knees, the light from outside illuminates Hanako’s face; the streaks of blood tracing black lines across her features.
There is a slight pressure in my shoulder, followed by a sense of oozing. I take a glance, and see a shard of glass protruding from it. My body releases chemicals I never knew I had into my bloodstream. Combined with the surreal environment, I wonder if I might be dreaming. The incessant howling of the wind is now a dull roar far, far away, and Hanako’s manic cackling sounds like she’s trying to talk underwater.
Outside, a car drives past, its headlights quickly washing over the room like a searchlight.
The mirror wall is shattered.
Light fittings hang from the roof, attached only by a length of power cable; their globes lost to the sea of glass on the tarquet.
Hanako stands over me, her white blouse criss-crossed with thin crimson tracks, her body convulsing in the wracks of her murderous laugh.
And, in the corner, desperately trying to stand, was Rin.
Her legs and mouth were bound with black gaffer’s tape, her shirt and pants torn to shreds, exposing shallow gashes all over her tender skin.
In an instant, the light was gone, and the room plunged back into darkness, however the sight of Lilly in danger was enough to shake me out of my state of shock.
Heart pounding loudly in my ears, I try to stand, only to be knocked down again by Hanako. I fall on my side, grinding shards of glass through my jacket. I try to cry out, but my voice fails me.
[Hanako] “I’m surprised at how easy it was to catch the two of you. Well, not her. I mean, look at her, Pathetic!”
Lilly started snaking herself towards me, dragging herself through the glass.
[MC] “Lilly! Don’t! Get away!”
I’m losing coherence. Hanako follows my pleading stare, and sees Lilly.
[Hanako] “Stay here.”
She grabs another shard of glass through my thigh; but this time, I feel it. Pain arcs like electricity from head to toe, and my legs are instantly warmed by the blood coursing from the wound. My heart pounds anew; sending further arcs of pain running down my arms- the onset of a heart attack.
My mouth is open in a silent scream; the minor attack has winded me.
Hanako, pleased with her work, walked gracefully towards Lilly.
[Hanako] “Hello Lilly-chan! I just had a good idea. I’m going to make you just like me. Then we’ll see who Hisao likes more, ok!?”
Tears stream down Lilly’s face, as she desperately tries to worm away from Hanako, but to no avail. Within seconds, Hanako straddles her, grabs a handful of her tattered hair, and reefs her head up.
[Hanako] “Are you watching, Hisao? Now we’ll see who’s your favorite!”
Lilly whimpers, unable to speak. I try to stand up, but my leg fails underneath me. The blood loss is making me light headed, and I can feel my heart beating ever faster… ever faster…
I summon the last reserves of my strength, and try to scream.
[Hisao] “Lilly!”
Too little, too late. The madness that has gripped Hanako is unrelenting. She pulls a third shard of glass from behind her back, and carves a line down Lilly’s face.
The room fills with Lilly’s pained sobs, which are quickly drowned out by the blood pooling in her open mouth. Hanako starts another cut, this time moving across Lilly’s chest, and Lilly faints. Hanako sighs, replaces the shard behind her back, and slaps Lilly across the face, singing.
[Hanako] “Wake up~ Wake up~ You don’t want to miss the main event~”
I can take no more. Falling to my chest, I try to drag myself towards Hanako, still beating Lilly around the head. The glass in my shoulder tears slightly more with each movement, but the pain is dulled. My lame leg drags behind the other; although I can barely feel either at this point. Each breath burns my lungs, and the ever-present thumping of my heart grows weaker in my chest.
[SFX] Slowing heartbeat, continues to slow until the end.
It felt like I had been crawling for the entirety of my life, yet I had barely moved a meter through the glass.
[SFX] Glass breaking
Oh… the glass in my leg must have broken. I think that Hanako has noticed me. The dim room grows ever dimmer, and she is barely discernable from the background.
But… she is getting closer… so much closer…
[Hanako] “I thought I told you to stay put.”
Hanako sighs. The sound of Lilly’s body being dropped to the ground sounds distant, as if in another world…
[Hanako] “Oh well, too bad for you. You get to miss the main event.”
Hanako is now over me, a giant shadow blocking all light. I wonder if this is how the moon feels during an eclipse…
[Hanako] “See! Now I’m the pretty one! Now we can be together…”
I feel something lifting me… something warm against my clammy skin.
[Hanako] “…forever”
Something is spilling over me. Something thick, something warm. It feels so good… so relaxing…
I think I might…

 

This image was drawn by the original 4LS artist, Ke^4, after reading this scrap
This image was drawn by the original 4LS artist, Ke^4, after reading this scrap
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26 thoughts on “~Bad End~


  1. Well…hmm…erm…ahh, yeah, that happened.
    I’m glad this didn’t actually in the game. Though I wonder if this could happen in a weird hybrid between Lily and Hanako’s routes–hmm…no, I shouldn’t think about this. Just push this story as far away as physically possible.

    If you do write more Hanako, try something else, please. You don’t need to make everything happy because life doesn’t work like that, but even so, I didn’t like this one at all. *Shudder*.

  2. Simple really.
    Hanako’s circumstances lend themselves to any number of viable endings.
    She could end up a killer or a wallflower… Or both.

    As opposed to the other girls, where their disadvantages were relatively fixed, Hanako was more of a blank canvas, which would allow the writer to really explore the depths of her mind.

    Unfortunately, viewing the world through Hisao made this hard, and I will admit that the final re-write lacked depth, probably due to fatigue, but at the start there were infinite possibilities… And that was appealing

  3. jesus man.. I’m really happy this was never put in the game. It’s not that the writing is bad, but much like the idea of Misha killing herself; it would not have gone well with the story. Frankly, KS was a fantastic experience for me (though maybe more emotional than I like to admit), but something like this would be… too disturbing. Though Hanako definitely has her mental problems obviously, the idea that she would completely melt down and become a psycho like this, and do this to Lily? it would turn the story into something very different. Bad different, even if it is the “bad ending”.

    1. This was actually written well before the game was even started properly. Unlike scenes like “Waterfall” and “Future,” which were in the game, this was just an isolated shot in the dark

      1. Oh I gathered as much, but it was still there regardless, and -potentially- could have become part of her story. I prefer the Hanako character as she was in the final version though.

        There is one thing that did really bother me about her route, and I do hope you don’t take offense to this; her “erotic” scene. She pretty much states in the final part that she just did this because she feared Hisao would leave her. Did you write that part as well, or was this one of the things that had to be written in because you (sadly) left before her story could be finished? It was so sad that she ended up having sex with Hisao more out of fear of him not wanting her otherwise, than actually wanting to make love to him for the sake of love.

        Thank you for your reply, and for the writing and work you have done on the game btw. I really wish there was more of the game, but I guess all good things must end eventually, even if it does kind of sadden the fans 🙂

      2. The actual scene was written after I left, but I think that the original intent was that yes, the reason that she had sex was because she was worried about Hisao leaving her.

        It’s strange that there are some parts of the H path that I can clearly say were mine or not, but there are others where the lines are really blurred.

        Suriko might know

  4. Bad end 1 you wrote originally for Hanako route (leaked alpha/beta/whatever) is shudderingly and exceptionally well done. This is how bad ends should be written. I must say that I found all the bad ends in final KS release leaving a lot to be desired… basically they left me feeling nothing. Good/true ends are well-written and all, they do what they’re intended to do, which is elicit emotions. But the same should be true of bad ends. Perhaps the only one that had me feel an inkling of *something* was Lilly’s bad end. But all others were pretty bleak by comparison (ESPECIALLY in Shizune route… it was just a mess, I would have welcomed much more drama, which the beta had in spades – and again, exceptionally well done).

    It is a darn shame (IMHO), that bad end 1 wasn’t the official bad end (perhaps intermingled with the Painful History scene from bad end 2 explaining in detail about the fire, to get the full impact, you know). It is extremely plausible and explains everything, AND it has welled up all sorts of emotions in me. Just how an ending should be. So, props for writing that, even though it got scrapped. As far as I’m concerned, it is the canon bad end for me. Such great piece of writing.

    This pre-4LS piece is also a piece of great writing. Although I must say I don’t fully buy a yandere Hanako, but considering her history, it really could go either way – wallflower or yander, or just about any gamut in between.

    cpl_crud, considering your obvious penchant for darker stories, do you feel sad that pretty much all bad ends (at least those that I witnessed, I only have Rin route left to do) in KS are so toned down to the point where I personally can’t call them all THAT bad (and even unable to elicit any stronger emotions whatsoever – granted this might be subjective)?

    Cheers!

    1. I think you also asked the same question on the 4LS forums as well, right?

      In short, thanks for your support. I enjoyed making the Bad Ends (in a way – it’s not exactly a “fun” thing to write) but, in the end, we wanted to have a consistent tone for Katawa Shoujo. In the initial drafts the bad ends ranged from simply “I don’t like you” to suicide and murder.

      So we needed to bring those together, and that’s why the bad ends became like they are now.

      I think that the Hanako bad end is still pretty good, and it has the message that I wanted to get across; basically, you can’t make a “version” of someone in your head and then “date” that – you need to learn about the actual person. And I mixed in sime personal experience there

      Without promoting myself too hard, if you like the original bad ends, then please check out The Zemlya Conspiracy. It’s on Kindle now but the paperback will be here soon. Sales have flatlined this week, but it has all the feels of the original bad ends and then some, and much more believable than Yandere Hanako!

  5. Yeah I asked the same on 4LS forums but it was removed since it was related to leaked prealpha… So I figured it’s best to comment directly here which is your domain 🙂

    I’ll definitely check out Zemlya Conspiracy, you do some great writing, man, for sure.

    Now go finish Run, you have a great thing going on there! 🙂

      1. Sure 🙂

        Also I’m getting that paperback of yours when it’s out. It is the only right thing to do (as I don’t have a Kindle, and I don’t really want to read anything on my computer unless it’s a VN, ehehe). 🙂

    1. I can kind of agree with you
      I use the apps on my phone/tablet – I don’t have a Kindle reader. It’s great for marking up, but paper books are still nice to have

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