Final Finale – Part 3

As usual, the words fall like marbles from my mouth. Babies learn an entire language in the time that we have been together, and yet I still stammer over my words when we are together.
“B-but… why?”

Genuine confusion washes across Hisao’s face. He’s done this before; acted without thinking the entire consequences through. As I watch, the confusion defrosts into a melancholy frown. He was so eager to tell me his news. He was actually smiling when he told me that he wanted to move out.

“I… I just can’t seem to focus. I feel like my brain has turned to molasses. Ideas used to flow like a river, coursing over rocks and filling me with energy. I don’t even know what I want to do with myself anymore!”

I don’t know what to say. Hisao’s words are erupting in my face, carrying the power of a volcano without the violence. So I stand here, silent, until he speaks again.

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to go over the top. It’s just… I dunno.” He moves to the couch and sits down. “I just think I need a change. Something to kick me back into gear.”

“B-but we hardly… hardly see each other as is.” Hisao motions for me to sit down on the couch. I’m not sure if I want to, but my body takes the lead before I can protest. He worms his arms around me, their warm embrace drawing me into his chest. He gently strokes my hair, and my instincts kick in. I rest my head on his shoulder and return his hug.

“I know, I know. That’s one of the reasons I want to do this. If I can study properly during the week, then we should have more time on the weekends.”

“But I don’t want to be alone.”

Hisao pushes himself away from me so that he and I are staring into each other’s eyes. “You’re not alone. You’re never alone. But we need to think about the future. We can’t work in a service station forever.”

He’s right. I know he’s right, but I still feel betrayed. Hisao is thinking about both of us, but he doesn’t realise that I can think for myself. I bury my head back into his shoulder. Trying to argue is more than I can bear. I want to go to sleep so that I can wake up from this nightmare. Since that day in Yamaku we have hardly been apart. Even with our jobs and studies, we still somehow managed to see each other every day. I don’t need him to talk to me, or even to be awake, but I just want to see his face every day. To think that I might not see him for 5 days a week, every week, is just too much to bear.

Hisao’s enthusiasm returns by the morning, and before I have even finished my breakfast and make-up he has already sent a number of emails to the university’s administrators to finalise the deal. The morning light has dulled my fears. We both go to the same university, and we both work at the same service station. I’m sure we’ll still see each other. I don’t think that I could live in the dorms, so there really is no choice but to stay here in the apartment.

No, not “the” apartment, “our” apartment. We found this place together, and we live here together. We borrowed and bought the furniture, we painted the walls. For the rest of my life I will remember this apartment; my first “home;” one that I built with my own hands, with my own love, with my own family.

“So, it looks like I can move in on Thursday after all. I don’t have a lab this week so my afternoon is free. And it’s not like I need to take a lot of stuff with me; just some clothes and some bed sheets.”

“O…okay.”

I feel like the damsel in distress tied to the railway tracks. Only this time, as the unstoppable freight train hurtles towards my body there is no hero to save me; just my brown-haired, arrhythmic lover. In some kind of feeble protest I ignore the subject almost entirely. But this is only a delaying tactic, and on Thursday morning I bid farewell to my de-facto husband, some of his clothes, and his bed sheets.

Suddenly, without wanting it, I am alone again.

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24 thoughts on “Final Finale – Part 3

    1. Heh, cheers. Then again, what would I be if I couldn’t drama all over the place?

      I need to write a spy story or something to get away from manly tears.

  1. A somewhat sad part, but what seems to be a necessary step towards a hopefully brighter future. Thank you for more of this story!

  2. She seems pretty chill about that whole “boyfriend has a major heart condition” thing in the last bit.

  3. Welp, that ended in a sad note. This chapter is quite short but it somehow satisfied my eagerness on reading a new chapter. But damn, I wasn’t expecting Hanako to be all sad and lonesome about it. Please tell me this story line ends in a happy ending

    1. Hanako is sad and lonesome about everything. Well, most things.

      It was short becuase I ran out of time. I was considering holding off until I had reached my next “checkpoint,” but that was about the same amount of writing again. I didn’t think that it was fair to keep you in suspense, so I found a suspenseful moment and cut this chapter short.

  4. Loving these so far! You’re a damn good writer, Hanako’s story was amazing, and even helped me to figure out some real life stuff. Thanks for that. 🙂 The only sad part is that someday the Hanako stories will have to come to an end. (Unless you can write more forever, we’d be cool with that) But I do look forward to seeing more of your stuff! Perhaps something else that can make me bawl my eyes out?

    1. I hope that there are a few more tears that I can jerk before I’m done here.

      For those that are counting, this is about haf-way through what I have planned for Final Finale.

      1. Only half?! Sweet! I’m excited to see what’s next. I hope it’ll lead to a “Good End”.

  5. Excellent work, you’re a damn talented writer! Hanako’s story has been one of the most touching things I’ve had the pleasure if experiencing since.. damn, I can’t even remember. Beautifully done, and it even inspired me to sort out some real life issues of my own. Thanks for that! 😀
    Hope to see plenty more of your work in the future! Maybe something else that can make me bawl my eyes out.

  6. Extremely good read. My only complaint about this is the way Hanako is portrayed, I mean, this is at least 3/4 years down the line now, and yet she’s still portrayed as the extremely tense and nervous girl. I didn’t expect her to be talking like the most confident person in the world, but at least expected her to be at least a bit more relaxed and less “stutter”-y around Hisao at this point, But, other than that, a really entertaining read.

    1. I like to think that if she were under pressure then her speech tics would return. Afterall, her distress was so great that she couldn’t function at a normal school.
      Plus, in these types of circumstances people generally don’t know what to say…

  7. It’s surprising to see the change of the point of view. It was really interesting to watch how Hanako sees the things.

  8. That last line brought a tear to my eye… Damn, Hanako always manages to jerk a tear out of me. Love your writing style and I even somewhat based an essay on your style because of how appealing it is to me. I’m a lucky bastard too cus’ that essay got an A. And I kinda agree with projektion, I wouldn’t have expected Hanako to still have stuttered speech, she even had it in part 1 and 2 when she wasn’t in what you would call a stressful situation. But there’s no helping it now because inconsistency would be far worse than something as small and variable as this.

  9. I was surprised to see you switch perspective with this one. I almost dread where you are going with this storyline, as Hanako’s storyline hit me the hardest. I hope that Hisao gets a smack to the head, to get him to stop making decisions for the two of them by himself.

    1. Unfortunately, no matter how hard you try, you will make some selfish decisions in your life. I see Hisao’s perspective is on the future, ignoring the here and now. In that sense, what he is doing makes sense. And since he thinks that he and Hanako are in sync, he probably doesn’t even realise that she doesn’t see it this way.

      Also, it’s fun to write as Hanako. I’ve always known what she was thinking, but I do realise that may be a little hard to fathom if you only ever hear her stuttered words. So I thought I’d try this.

      1. I can see where you’re coming from. Hisao wants to make a successful life for Hanako and himself and the only way to do that is to pull himself above the part-time job level and use the gifts he’s got.
        Whereas Hanako was alone for so long, without someone to love and understand her. Now she has both of those things, so whatever happens going forward doesn’t matter. She would probably be fine living in a cardboard box as long as Hisao is there with her.
        I had to remind myself that this was only a year after the end of their story, so she still hasn’t fully left the “feeling broken” point yet. It’s sad to see that her experiences in retail haven’t given her a stronger voice, but again, not enough time to grow and strengthen.
        Great continuation. Look forward to the next part.

  10. Well, I didn’t cry but this certainly was something kind of sad, not as sad as everyone’s saying it is, it was just Hanako being… Hanako. Nothing unusual about that.
    You need to step it up CPL!

    1. Indeed, I thought that maybe there were a few tears flwoing a little too early. I am thinking about having a crack at Part 4 tonight.
      I’m still a little undecided on how to end it. There’s a good and a bad ending that I have notes on, but no real reason to go for either.
      Writing VNs means that you don’t have to choose between two alternatives; you just bang a choice in there and call it a “game”.

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