Goodbye, Old Friend

Today, Excel, Il Palazzo and Tenmangu conquered the world, returned to their cores and left Fukuoka. At least that’s what I think happened.


I’ve been reading Excel Saga for a long time now, a decade, give or take. It was the Excel Saga fan forum that put me onto Haruhi and Higurashi, opening my eyes to the benefits of subbed anime, and put me on a collision course with 4LS and my language studies.

Crap, a lot has happened in ten years.

But now, the story is over, as confusing and hilarious as it was. Anyway, those of you that are into Manga should look into it. It starts off innocently enough, and you are knees-deep in the storyline before you even realise that there is more to it than simply gag humour.


I wish that there was something to celebrate this momentous occasion, but really, there is nothing. Well, Arctic Gale Chapter 14, but I guess that if you were following that story then you would already know that by now.

I have decided to pick up the pace of the story a bit more now. I had inadvertently written myself into a bit of a rut with the subway safehouse, but hopefully we can get out of that now. One of the villains has revealed himself (although I had tossed that up for a bit) and hopefully now there is enough info to get the shape of the story.

One of the things that I have trouble with in writing is separating what know from what the characters know. I try to take pains to make sure that things don’t “slip out,” or that characters don’t know things that they couldn’t possibly know already. I’m sure that I’m going to have to go over the whole script once it is done and weed out those little continuity errors, but that will be a while away yet. Progress wise, today gets me to the odd figure of 25,555 words. I’m aiming for somewhere around 80-100,000 words, but I’m not sure what this current pacing will do. I actually think that I could wrap the whole thing up neatly in about 10,000 if I really tried, but I want to get into a bit more depth. Thankfully there aren’t that many side branches that need to be closed off. This was a problem with early KS drafts; a simple throw-away line would then mean that you would have to write an additional 5 scenes to close out that comment. A lot of people have said that it must have taken skill to write so much for KS, but really, it was our inexperience that led it to be so damned long…


Okay. So feedback time. How many people are actually reading AG, and do you think that it is at the point where I should be looking to share it more actively, or should I want until there is more meat there to keep you interested? This is a bit of a catch-22 here. One of the main motivators for me to write is knowing that I’m letting people down by not writing. It is easier to spend a weekend alone watching Archer and South Park than it is to sit down for 2-3 hours and punch out 2,000 words. But, on the flip side, without having a good enough story, it’s hard to get people to actually want to read it!


In a fit of sleep deprivation this week I had actually considered penning a third “Runner’s Afternoon,” probably a prequel, in order to drum up attention, but doing something like that as an attention whore would not work. I may change my mind one day, but I am pretty sure that A Runner’s Afternoon is neatly finished as it is now.


Anyway, enough rambling. Archer awaits!


Thank you, Rikudo Koshi. I love your work.


16 thoughts on “Goodbye, Old Friend

  1. I’ve only read the first couple of chapters so solid feedback is lacking as of yet. My one question I want to ask, is do you have a point? Normally, stories have a point, or in an ongoing series (if this is intended) a series of points. Even Harry Potter had a point. You can always have sub points and plots and twists of course, but what is driving direction?

    Speaking of not revealing things inadvertently, I was mulling over a short story for post KS. Very short. It’s a situation that you are brought into as an 3 person observer. 4 people get out of a car outside a gate, ..well I’m not going to write it all out here.. it would take too long for the time I have.(it’s 12:30 AM here) basically, I reveal bit by bit who we are observing, one person at a time. at the end we meet 2 more as the closer. I don’t want to say more as I don’t know how you feel about spoilers. This technique is like an inverted “canon” in music I spose… not that I’ve ever done it before. I guess I’ll HAVE to write it out now… 😛 dang.. ^_^ hang in there. Do you have or know anyone that does professional or semi professional editing?

    1. Yes, I believe that there is a point, although that will probably only become apparent as the story unfolds. So far I believe that I have set up the characters (although I am sure there is still some development required) and have framed the universe in which they exist. Now I can move into the heavy plot lifting.

      As for the second question, I only really know the 4LS editors (and, internally, a lot of the editing was also done by the other writers), and technical magazine editors.

      You could try reaching out to someone like Silentcook, but not sure of the response you would get…

      1. Oh, I’m not worried about that. This is mostly for my own indulgence. Once I think I have it honed a bit, I’ll offer it up for slaughter.
        And cool about the first paragraph. The world (so far I’ve read only up to Ch 2) is really promising. I would have read more this weekend only the grand daughter came over and we went to the local Japaneses Garden….Sooo.. I’ll get to reading later. ; )
        Where an editor is concerned, I was just thinking that if you could get someone to deliver some high level advice or 10000 foot level perspective to help. I such at that kinda thing.

  2. One small post about KS. If you want to see an interesting indicator which path is most popular, Look for Katawa Shoujo themes on fire fox. Hanako leave them all in the dust. Cheers!
    ps.. huh. “flower girl”. Interesting.

  3. I always prefer to wait until the whole thing is out if I can before starting. I’m too likely to forget details or lose track of a stories flow if I take big brakes.

  4. Ok, I just finished. Your flow really evened out about Ch11 and hit full stride by the end of 12. The action sequences were a bit stilted or gaped. I had a hard time getting a clear picture of what was going on. Note entirely, as I understood what was happening. The plot is unfolding well. Questions are starting to form in my mind about characters and motivation. That’s good. They rebel characters are a bit flat, but only a bit. much of who we know they are is coming through Kate’s eyes and thoughts. draw out some personality through dialogue. but then again, each character doesn’t need to be a glaring standalone rainbow of personality! ..btw..great word “traipse”. 🙂 oh also, proof Ch14 again. i caught 3 errors. Typos. I’ll post them later. it’s 1am and i’ve work in the morning. Also, I didn’t see the tunnels as a rut. It made sense and some important ground work for the rest of the story was set in place there. You probably could have spent another chapter in there with no trouble. The need to get topside was a good push for the change in terrain though.

    Cheers Cpl. This is a great read. oh..also, I think KS played out fine as story length goes. Shizune’s path was a bit disorienting because it went beyond the standard school year.. or seemed to. I still have trouble figuring that out. I guess I i had grown up in Japan, it would make a bit more sense. oh, on more thing. (i know i know) is the meaning if the name Ichigo widely known? Stay outta trouble down under!
    (listening to

    1. Here are those errors:
      “A thing blue cord wound ” (thin?)

      “that this deliberately orchestrated to keep ” (is a word like “was” missing in that sentence?)

      “They history of this city has been lost ” (The?)

      “puddles barley hid the ” (barely)

      I hope my previous post didn’t seem harsh. It was’t meant that way. It’s a fascinating story and really, has only just started.

  5. Sorry to post. Hate to clutter your blog. Would email but I guess for obvious reasons, it’s not listed.
    2 quick questions. What was Emi’s Dad’s first name and what is the Japanese equivalent of “nana”? soba?
    Thx. sorry to bother.

    1. Honestly, I can’t remember Emi’s Dad’s name.
      I remember researching the kanji for the tombstone CG, but that was years ago.
      I think it was chosen because it did have some deeper meaning though…

      And “Nana,” if you mean “Grandmother,” would probably be “Baabaa” for little kids and “Baachan” for most others, but it can get more formal than that.
      Soba is more used for other people’s grandparents – “Anata no osoba genki desuka?”

      1. Oh ok. Yeah, this is about 5 or 6ish and own grandparent. baabaa will do. I keep forgetting that relation is intrinsic to the Japanese people and language. Fascinating. I wonder if things would be a little different here in the states if the same was true.
        Thanks for the reply. I really appreciate it. Hope your family is well and oh! And an extended happy mother’s day from here in the states.
        Thanks again.

  6. cplcrud, I recently finished the Hanako route for Kawata Shoujo, and my eyes were opened! All my life I’ve been thinking about how to treat women (I don’t have a girlfriend yet, but I’m hopeful), and I never realized that there’s a difference between supporting them and sheltering them. Thanks so much for writing the route–I’m grateful for the impact it left on me.
    And…I notice you’re a good writer, if your A Runner’s Afternoon sequel/spinoffs and Arctic Gale chapters are anything to go by.
    I’m working on my own novel, and I’d be really greatful if you looked at some of it, just to see your thoughts on it. I’m also thinking of incorporating some Katawa Shoujo elements for the sequel, if I ever get this first novel off the ground.
    So would you please let me know if you’re interested?
    Thank you, and thank you again for writing the Hanako route!

    1. Happy to look, but as you will note by my woeful attendance on my own blog, I can’t promise that you will get any timely feedback!

      Writing is a hobby for me, one that I can only devote a small amount of time to. But happy to try to help out.

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